All That's Good
by LindsayR
Summary: BtVS/Charmed. This is my first attempt at a crossover. Instead of going to Africa for his soul, Spike goes to visit an old friend, only to learn things have changed and that there is a higher purpose for him. **ON INDEFINITE HIATUS!**
1. New Acquaintances and Familiar Faces

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon, Warner Brothers, etc.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 1:  New Acquaintances and Familiar Faces

By

Anessa Ramsey

         Spike stared at the red Victorian style manor in front of him.  It had been a long time since he'd been there last.  San Francisco had always been one of his favorite cities.  He could still remember the last time he was there, clear as day.  He'd missed her.  For a short time Patty was the only person he trusted.  He could only hope that she still lived in the house that he was looking at.  She was the only one who could help him.

         Gathering himself he strode to the front door and rapped on it loudly.  He was actually nervous.  Would she remember him?  And if she did would she still trust him?  He could hear voices inside and soon the door swung open to reveal a decidedly red haired young woman.  Not a Halliwell.  None of the Halliwells were red heads.  

         "I'm looking for Patty Halliwell.  Does she still live here?"

         Paige was stunned.  A gorgeous guy with nearly white hair was looking for her mother.  He was too young to have known her.  It took her a moment to regain her voice.  She was wary of him.  Fighting demons had taught her to be suspicious.  "She's not here.  Can I help you?"

         "Not likely, luv.  When will she be back?"

         Paige sighed.  British too.  Was there anything about him that wasn't absolutely gorgeous?  His eyes were so deep and blue she thought she could drown in them.  And those cheekbones…but she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind.  "Just a second," she said, shutting the door.  She hurried into the living room.  "Piper, Phoebe, there's a situation."

         "Not a demon…please not a demon.  We've just gotten back to a somewhat normal routine.  The death of the Source and the Underworld leaders was supposed to give us a break," Piper said from where she sat next to Leo watching TV.

         "Not a demon.  There's a guy at the door who wants to see mom."

         "He doesn't know she's dead?" Phoebe asked.

         "He's too young to have known her at all."

         That got their attention and they followed her back to the door.  Paige opened it again and Piper stepped forward, taking in the black clothing, white hair, and pale skin.  Whoever he was, he had a problem getting a tan.  "You wanted to see Patty?"

         "Bloody hell, yes.  I don't have time to stand around all night while you waste my time making me wait.  Is she coming back soon or not?"

         "She's been dead for twenty three years.  She's not coming back."

         Spike closed his eyes momentarily.  She had died just a few years after they met.  She didn't deserve to die so young…especially with the little ones just starting to grow.  Little ones.  She had two daughters.  If he could just remember their names.  He started sorting through names starting with the letter P in his mind.  Penelope…no.  Portia…no.  Priscilla…no…Prudence….  Prudence!  But Patty called her Prue.   "Is Prue here?" he asked looking at them again.

         "She's dead too.  She died two years ago."

         Spike sighed.  "That's a shame.  She was going to be such a spitfire.  Full of sass and magic.  Even when she was four you could just tell…"

         "Whoa, okay.  Stop."  Piper threw up her hands and froze Spike.  This was not good.  He knew their mother and Prue when she was only four, yet he didn't look any older than twenty six himself.  "Who is this guy?  Any ideas Leo?"

         "He could be an immortal.  They exist, but I don't think he is.  Something's…off about him.  I don't think he's human but I don't think he plans to hurt you either.  At least not yet.  You could ask him in, find out what he wants while I go talk to the Elders."

         "You do that.  I want to know how he knew mom and Prue."

         Leo orbed out of the manor and Piper unfroze Spike.  He noticed that the guy who'd been standing at the back of the group was gone.  "I see your Whitelighter is gone.  Went to find out who I was did he?  Hope he tells the Elders that William says hello."

He looked at the woman in front of him.  She looked just like Patty.  "If Prue is gone then you must be Piper.  Your mum loved that name.  You were just a wee one when I first saw you.  Only one and a half years old."  He looked at the other two, taking in the dark haired one first.  "That makes you Phoebe.  You were still in your mum's stomach when I was here.  She had such hopes for you."  He glanced at the red head again.  "You I don't know.  You can't be a Halliwell.  Not with that red hair.  So who are you, luv?"

         "I am a Halliwell.  The name's Paige.  And don't tell me you've never heard of hair dye," she quipped, gesturing to his bleached locks.

         "Got me there, don't you."  He shoved his hands into his pockets.  "Are we just going to stand here all night or are you going to invite me in?"

         Piper stood back.  She didn't utter a word.  Spike stepped forward and walked into the house.  Patty never revoked the invite.  He smirked.  He'd taken a chance on that.  If he had walked into the barrier, they would have known immediately what he was.  

         Phoebe led everyone into the living room and Spike sat down across from them.  He could tell they were wary of him.  He knew they were witches like their mother.  They had a whitelighter in the house.  Of course they were witches.  Prue had shown signs of telekinesis and he couldn't help but wonder what powers her sisters had.  He was about to ask, but Piper beat him to the punch.

         "Who are you?"

         He chuckled sarcastically.  "That's a good question, luv.  Don't quite know the answer to that myself.  Used to be William…then Spike.  You can call me Spike."

         "How…interesting," Phoebe murmured.  

         "What are you?" Paige asked, wanting to get to the point instead of playing this little game of Get To Know Your Local Demon.

         He smirked.  Couldn't help it.  She was sassy, not like the other two who were more cautious.  "You are direct aren't you?  I like that in a woman."  He gazed at her and she couldn't break eye contact.  For a moment she felt as if her body was no longer hers.  She felt the same way she did when she was a vampire, except he was inside her, talking to her.  She could hear him say in her mind, "You know what I am, luv.  You've been one," he laughed, reading her thoughts.  

         Piper and Phoebe were starting to get concerned.  Paige wasn't moving and neither was Spike.  They were in some sort of trance.  Suddenly Paige gasped and practically jumped out of her chair to get away from Spike.  For several seconds she couldn't move.  "Vampire," she hissed when she could finally speak.

         Spike just watched her while Phoebe went to her side.  "That's impossible, sweetie.  He walked in without an invitation," she said, trying to soothe her sister.

         The truth hadn't dawned on her yet, but Piper knew.  "He didn't need an invite.  He already had one.  Mom…she invited you in."

         "Got it in one, luv."

         "What did you do to Paige?"

         "Not much.  Just a little thrall.  Don't do it often, but I couldn't resist.  She was one of us."

         "The Queen got to her not long ago."

         "That bloody bitch?  Hope you killed her good and proper.  A real disgrace to vamps, living as bats.  Just as bad as old Drac.  Totally different demon."

         "Dracula?  He exists?"

         "Sure.  Wanker owes me money."

         "How are the Queen and Dracula different demons?"

         Leo orbed back just as Piper asked the question and said, "I can answer that."  He paused and looked at Spike who nodded giving him the go ahead to tell the tale.  "Once upon a time there was the King of all vampires.  He created and ruled them all.  One night he turned the woman who was to be his Queen, only she was a good person.  The Elders tried to intervene, to have her keep her soul.  She did, but it meshed with the demon and the soul was destroyed.  She was a gypsy and when she and the demon converged it became something new.  A demon with all the powers of a gypsy.  The Elders inadvertently created a new type of vampire.  After a few hundred years the Queen killed the King and eventually taught one of his childer, a vampire named Joseph Heinrich Nest, her knowledge, thrall being part of that education.  He passed it on to his childer.  The Master, as he was later known by, was the leader of the Clan of Aurelius until his demise a few years ago.  You are his descendent."  

             Spike smirked.  "You must be the Whitelighter."  It wasn't a question.

         "Yeah.  My name's Leo.   And you're William the Bloody, also known as Spike, childe of Drusilla, grand-childe of Angelus, the Scourge of Europe.  They wouldn't tell me anything else about you.  Not yet anyways."  

         "I'm sure they wouldn't.  They never really inform their champions about what they're facing.  Never much good for anything are they?"

         Leo bristled but ignored the comment.  "Did he tell you why he was here or how he knew your mom?" he asked Piper.

         "Not yet."

         "The answer to the first question is easy, luv.  I wanted her to restore my soul." Silence reigned.  Had he honestly just said that?  They just stared at him as if he was some creature from another planet.  "Bloody hell, don't stare at me like I'm a circus freak.  It's annoying."

         "Sorry," Phoebe said.  "It's just…why?"

         Spike sighed.  This was the hard part.  He didn't want to rehash what had happened in Sunnyhell.  "Fell in love with a girl who called me an evil, soulless thing, even though I've been helping her fight demons for two years.  I can't feed cause of a chip in my head that won't allow me to hurt humans.  Long story short, she used me, I lashed out, made a big mistake and this is the only way to make things right.  Can't be an evil thing if I'm full of soul, now can I?"

         "I guess not," said Piper.  Phoebe finally convinced Paige to come sit back down.  They both watched Spike warily.  He really scared her, he realized.  

         "Sorry about the thrall, luv.  I didn't know about the Queen until I was already in your head.  Won't happen again."  Paige just nodded.

         "So how did you know mom?"

         "It was the Seventies and I just came here from New York.  Got my second Slayer and I was on a real high over that.  Anyway, I was on the outs with Dru and was looking for some action.  Took a bet with a Tular demon at a bar.  Played some pool and hussled the guy for a lot of dosh.  He wasn't happy about it and he cornered me in an alley just next to this diner.  A real greasy spoon.  He was about to kill me when the next thing I know this dark haired woman in a waitress uniform is there chanting some spell.  The demon exploded.  She mistook me for an innocent at first but as she was chanting she finally saw my fangs, but she didn't stop.  She saved my life."  He smiled.  "I knew she was powerful and she just saved my hide so I decided not to feed on her.  She invited me over if you can believe it, to bandage up my wounds.  The demon took a chunk out of my shoulder when he bit me."

         "She trusted you?"

         "She shouldn't have, but she did.  She was convinced that there was still good in me.  Anyway, a few days after she patched me up, I saved her from an assassin.  I remember him saying that she was going to give birth to the Charmed Ones and that it had to be stopped.  Took an arrow in the stomach for her.  I hung around for about three months and we became friends."

         "How do we know you're telling the truth?"

         "You don't.  The only person who does is your mum, and she's not here to tell you otherwise."

         Phoebe glanced at Piper and Paige and they both nodded.  "She's not here now but we can summon her." 

         Spike's eyes widened slightly.  "Then why don't you do it.  I'd like to see her again."

         Paige led the way up to the attic and Spike followed the Charmed Ones.  When he walked through the door he was impressed by the set up they had going.  He watched as they prepared the ingredients and space for the spell.  Soon they were performing it and the room began to glow.  When the words stopped Patty was standing in the middle of the circle.  She looked right at him.  "I see you've returned.  I'm sorry I wasn't able to be here to greet you."

         "Death suits you.  You still glow," Spike said, smirking, making the other three in the room wonder if there was anything more to the relationship than friendship.  As if he knew what they were think he turned to look at them in turn.  "Get your minds out of the gutter.  Bloody hell…she's your mum.  'Sides, no matter how much I liked her, I never have gone for women that were carryin'."

         "Carrying?"

         "She was pregnant when I met her," he said to Paige.

         Patty smiled.  Still brash as ever.  "You've come for your soul.  I told you there was still good in you."

         "You're still wrong about that.  Nothin' good or clean in this demon."

         "Yes, well, you always denied that rather vehemently, but I think the fact that you're searching out your soul says otherwise."

         "It's good to see you haven't changed a bit, luv.  Still as optimistic as ever."

         "And you're still brash and outspoken as you were back then.  Though I do miss the punk that saved me from an assassin.  What happened to the spiked hair, eyebrow piercing, and dark eye make-up?"

         "One must change with the times."

         "Oh and that look is just so twenty-first century," Paige said.

         "Hey!" he said offended.  "I'll have you know that for being dead I look pretty damn good."

         "How would you know?  You can't even see yourself in a mirror." She quipped.  "And god! Could that hair color be any worse?"

         His mouth opened slightly and he was about to respond when Patty spoke up.  "Don't get into it with my daughter, Spike.  She's just as stubborn as you, if not worse.  You won't win."  He growled and glared at Paige who glared right back.  Patty smiled.  There were worse choices in men that her daughter could make.  She glanced at Phoebe, knowing how much pain that she was in.  The loss of a husband, someone loved, no matter how evil, was a sad thing.  Phoebe was dealing with it as best she could.  Piper on the other hand was very tense.  Her mistrust of Spike was fueling that tension.  She shimmered and then spoke.  "I have to go now.  Help him.  He won't betray you.  He promised."  

         Spike's head shot up and he gazed at her disappearing figure.  She remembered and she was holding him to it.  Bloody hell.

         "What was that all about?" Paige asked, looking at Spike.

         "I don't know, but it didn't sound bad," Phoebe said.

         Piper just stared at the floor for a moment before looking at Spike.  "We'll help you.  Do you have the spell?"  He handed over the spell and the translation that he copied from Giles' computer.  

         "It needs to be changed.  Can't go losing it over a moment of perfect happiness, now can I?"

         "We can do it.  It will be hard but we should be able to do it."

         Leo looked at them apprehensively.  "Maybe you should wait.  The Elders are calling and I think something is up.  Wait until I get back before you go ahead with this."

         Piper glanced at Spike who nodded.  "Okay.  We'll wait."  Leo orbed out again.  "In the meantime, do you need anything to eat?"

         "Blood," he said, noting the disgusted looks that appeared on their faces.  He also noted that there was some worry in their eyes.  They didn't fully trust him.  "Got a butcher nearby?"  


	2. Bloody Hell! Not Another Prophecy!

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 2:  Bloody Hell!  Not Another Prophecy!

By

Anessa Ramsey

         Leo stared at the Elders, unable to believe what he was hearing.  "You can't be serious!"  

         "We are decidedly so," an imperious man in gray robes said, twirling the end of his long white beard between his fingers.

         "He's a vampire."

         "It does not matter.  He understands the evil of the world in ways that not even we do.  He has seen it.  He has committed unspeakable acts.  It cannot be stopped.  This day was destined for him from the birth of the world.  It is a prophecy that must be fulfilled.  He must do what we ask.  He seeks his soul, but one cannot seek what has not been misplaced.  William resides in him.  He has been there all along.  It is his time to ascend.  The new moon is in two nights.  You must prepare him and the Charmed Ones for the ritual.  They are going to need all their power.  This will be felt throughout the world.  He must complete his mission or in three days the world will end and not even we will be able to stop it."

         "Can you tell me how so that I can warn them about what they are facing?"

         "They'll know.  They will find out during the ceremony.  Now go, prepare them.  He must ascend.  He will ascend."

         Leo just looked at their implacable faces momentarily before orbing to the manor.

         Paige was sitting at the table, working on a new potion when Leo orbed in.  Piper was at P3 and Phoebe was at the newspaper.  Spike was sleeping in the basement.  Leo had been gone all night.  Piper was worried and she was taking out her frustrations on the crew setting up for a catered party taking place that night.  "What's the matter?" she asked when she saw his face.  He was pale and seemed to be shaking.

         It took him a moment to break out of the trance he seemed to be in and when he answered, she just stopped.  "The end."

         "What do you mean, the end?  The end of what?"

         "The world."

         Paige's eyes widened and she lunged for the phone, quickly calling Piper and Phoebe, ordering them to get home as quickly as possible.  This was not good.  "Cover the windows with blankets and towels.  We need to darken the room.  I have a feeling that whatever you're not telling me about the end of the world centers around the vampire sleeping in our basement."  She turned when Leo nodded and went to retrieve the blankets.  

         She, on the other hand, walked into the kitchen and down into the basement.  "Spike, get your punk ass out of bed!" she said, stomping down the stairs, making no attempt to be quiet.

         "Sod it all, woman, 'm tryin' to sleep.  I'm a vampire…it's day, it's what I do."

         "Yeah, well, Leo found out what's going on and it seems that the world is going to be ending.  There's a whole bunch of stuff about it being prophesized."

         He groaned, remembering the Acathla incident with his sire.  He liked the world the way it was but he liked his sleep more.  "Bloody hell!  Not another prophecy," He groaned.  He turned his head into his pillow.  "Well, then, call me when it's over," he said, rolling away from her.  He hugged the pillow tight, but she came over and ripped it out of his arms.  She was a major bitch, just like….  His mind wandered back to Sunnydale and the blond haired slayer that he was so in love with.  He tried to rape her.  He cringed now, thinking about it, but at the time, she drove him to the breaking point.  

         Now that he was away though, he was thinking clearly for the first time in two years and he wasn't feeling heartsick and mooning over the slayer.  He couldn't help but wonder if he had a spell put on him.  He was three hundred miles away and he felt nothing.  No love, no lust, just a sense of warmth…friendship.  He growled.  He'd been whammied with a spell and he had a pretty good guess as to who did it.  Bloody witch…messin' with his head to get him to protect Dawn.  He'd have to have a chat with her when…if… he decided to go back.

Paige backed up a step at the sound of the low growl emanating from the cot.  He noticed immediately and quieted down.  "No worries, luv.  Just realized somethin' is all."

"Yeah, well, Leo needs us upstairs.  Piper and Phoebe are on their way home."

"Sure."  He rose from the cot and the blanket that had been covering him fell away, leaving him in nothing but a pair of jeans.  His bare feet pointed out from beneath the legs of the jeans and she whistled in appreciation of his well defined abs.  

"Thanks luv.  M'not appreciated nearly as much as I should be."

         "Don't let it go to your head.  Didn't say I liked anything else, did I?"

         He laughed, the first truly mirthful sound she'd heard him make since his arrival the night before.  It was nice, full bodied and rich, like a glass of good brandy.  She watched him pass her by as he pulled on the black shirt he'd been wearing the night before.  "You comin'?" he asked, turning to look at her.  

         For just a moment she lost herself in his eyes, before nodding and following him up the stairs.  She checked to be sure that Leo had sunproofed the house and then told him to come in.  Piper and Phoebe walked in a few minutes later.

         "What's so important that I had to be dragged out of the club when I have a huge party tonight?"

         "And why was I told that there was another family emergency when I said that I had to finish my piece for tomorrow's edition."

         Leo sat his wife and Phoebe down before he began.  "It's the end of the world."

         Silence.  

         Finally Piper spoke, "Excuse me, but did you say the end of the world?"

         "Yeah."

         "Guys it's not as if we haven't faced big threats before…what's the deal with the shock?"

         "We've never faced the end of the world, Phoebe.  It's bound to be a lot harder and completely different than taking on the Source."

         "Piper and Paige are right, Phoebe.  The end of the world…it's…" Leo tried to find the word to describe it.

         "It's bloody and scary and defeating.  It's watching everything and everyone you care about get sucked up into something that's bigger than all your greatest fears combined.  It's watching your grand-sire steal your love and try to send the world to Hell.  It's watching someone you think you love jump into a portal of swirling energy to close the gateway between this world and all the dimensions of Hell only to fall through onto a pile of rubble once the portal is closed.  It's realizing that they died the second the energy from the portal enveloped their body.  It's watching them get resurrected against their will, yanked out of Heaven and away from the first peace they've had in years, then watching them suffer because their friends couldn't leave well enough alone. It's watching them loose all feeling, watching them push away everything and everyone that used to matter most.  That's the end of the world."

         They all just stared at him, unsure of how to respond.  Finally Paige said, "You sound like you've had experience with this sort of thing."

         "Too many times…'m not supposed to be the one tryin' to save the world you know.  That's why you're here and why there's slayers and watchers and Scoobies and champions.  'S'not my job.  I'm a vampire.  I'm supposed to be evil."

         "Then why are you here?" Phoebe asked.

         "I just wanted my soul…thas' it."

         "Wanting your soul isn't evil.  It sounds like you haven't done anything evil in quite awhile," Phoebe said, not noticing the way he flinched slightly at the reminder of why he left Sunnydale.

         "You're going to get more than you're soul," Leo said, speaking up.

         "What now?"

         "In two days…the night of the new moon…you will ascend."

         "Ascend?"

         "You'll become a Whitelighter.  A higher being."

         Spike started laughing.  "You've got to be bloody joking.  I'm a vampire, ducks.  There's no chance in hell they'd make me one of you…you're angels."

         "Apparently it was intended for you all along.  Part of that prophecy thing."

         "And if I refuse?"

         "The world ends."

         More hysterical laughter bubbled out of him.  "Isn't this just peachy."

         Ignoring his hysteria and laughter Paige focused on something he said that the rest of the group didn't catch on to.  "Back up.  Slayers?  Watchers?  Scoobies?  And Champions?  What are they?"

         He sighed.  "Nothin' to be concernin' yourself with.  You'll probably be meetin' 'em soon enough if the world's going to end where I think it is."

         "And where's that?" Piper queried.

         "Where it's always supposed to end."  

         "And where's that?" Paige snapped, sick of the ping-pong of words.

         He frowned.  "The Hellmouth."


	3. Departures and Arrivals

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 3:  Departures and Arrivals

By

Anessa Ramsey

         Piper glanced at Phoebe and Paige as they each sat at their designated point of the circle.  Two days had passed quickly and it was now the night of the ceremony.  Spike sat in the middle of the circle.  After explaining what the Hellmouth was the Charmed Ones knew that the ceremony must take place.  Spike was the most nervous of the group.  He was going to die.  He knew that to become a Whitelighter he had to be dead, and though he already was, his body was inhabited by a demon.  The demon had to die for William to ascend.

         "This won't hurt will it?" he asked.

         Paige felt sorry for him.  It was probably very hard to let go of everything he knew to do this.  "It shouldn't.  It should happen quickly.  The book says it will kind of be like going to sleep, only you'll turn to dust."

         "Lovely."

         "Don't worry.  Everything will be okay."

         "Easy for you to say.  You're not going to Hell."

         The three of them looked surprised.  "What?" Phoebe asked.

         Leo looked at them.  "He's a demon.  Spike will be sent to Hell and William will ascend."

         "Hey, you never told us that!" Paige snapped, angry at being out of the loop.

         "I assumed you knew.  It's where every demon you've ever vanquished has ended up.  Despite his…helpfulness, the past few years, Spike is not heaven bound."

         Paige rose and stood away from the circle.  "Then I'm not doing the ritual."

         Spike looked up at her.  "You have to do it, luv.  There's no getting out of this one."

         "But you'll…"

         "I've been around for over a hundred and fifty years.  I never thought I'd go out doing something good.  You have to do this for me, Paige.  It's the right thing to do."

         "Listen to him, Paige," Leo said.  "It's the fate of the world."

         Paige looked at him then at Piper and Phoebe.  Phoebe, who sacrificed her love for the side of Good.  Sighing she rejoined the circle and they began the ceremony, the moon hanging high in the sky outside.

         They each lit the candle in front of them and began to chant.  They grasped each other's hands and raised them toward the ceiling, the power flowing through them.  A barrier of light surrounded them and as the chanting grew louder their eyes began to glow.  Leo observed from afar, concerned for his wife.  He knew they were doing the right thing.  He could feel it.  The energy crackled and he looked at Spike who was sitting serenely in the center of the circle.  They all could see the events in their head.  They saw the witch with the black hair trying to raise the temple from the ground.  Spike was the only one who recognized the girl's face. 

         His eyes were closed and he began to glow brighter and brighter and with a whisper he turned to dust, coating the floor in between the girls.  Slowly the chanting stopped, the light dimmed until it faded away, and the girls hands fell to their sides.  They each opened their eyes, expecting to see William sitting in the circle but it was empty.  They each sat there for a moment, absorbing the enormity of what they'd seen, then they began to move and clean up.

         "Did we do it wrong?" Piper asked as Paige swept up Spike's remains and put them into a jar.  Phoebe was picking up the candles and placing them back in the trunk.

         "No, nothing went wrong.  The spell worked just like it was supposed to.  William has ascended.  Now the Elders are taking care of him.  He is receiving their knowledge and care.  He's spent the past one hundred and twenty six years with no control over his body.  He needs to be calmed a bit and told what is going on."

         "But the world's supposed to end tomorrow night."

         "He'll be back before then.  Time moves differently up there."

         "How different will he be?" Paige asked.  She'd grown fond of Spike.  She hadn't wanted him to go.  

         "I don't know, Paige.  I honestly don't know."

         Paige was pacing back and forth across the living room.  Piper and Phoebe sat on the couch watching her.  She had been pacing for nearly two hours.  That's how long it had been since the Elders had summoned Leo.  Piper smiled and said to her, "Aren't you getting tired?"

         "No."

         "Paige, honey, you need to sit down.  Leo will be back with news as soon as he can."

         "That's not going to work Phoebe."

         "Paige, we know that it was hard for you to let Spike go, but you do know that he's not coming back right?"

         "You don't know that…William could be a lot like Spike."

         "The chances of that are so slim Paige.  Don't hold out hope.  Just be happy that William is getting another chance."

         "How can I be happy knowing we sent Spike to Hell?  He was doing good.  It shouldn't have had to be this way."

         "It was the only way, sweetie.  He knew what he was getting himself into.  He wouldn't want you to be sad either.  He'd want you to say 'To Hell with being sad and mopey'.  Even though we only knew him for a couple of days, he didn't strike me as a person who spent his life being sad."

         Paige looked at them and realized that they were right.  It wasn't as if she'd been in love with him.  She just felt bad that they'd had to condemn him to Hell when he was doing so good.  There had been a little attraction but knowing he was going to die had put a damper on that.  "Okay.  You're right.  I'll stop pacing."  She plopped down next to Phoebe and rested her head on her sister's shoulder.

         Phoebe hugged her and they were so lost in comforting each other that they didn't notice the glow that emanated from the kitchen momentarily.  Piper did though and she sat up and called out, "Leo?"

         He walked into the room followed by someone who was pretty familiar to them now.  It was Spike but not Spike.  This was William.  His hair was brown and kind of a mess of unruly spikes all over his head.  Blond streaks were interwoven with them and he was wearing a long sleeve blue silk shirt and a pair of jeans.  On his feet was a pair of what looked to be Birkenstock sandals.  He even had on a pair of black, wire frame glasses.  He smiled nervously.

         "Will, this is my wife, Piper," Leo said as Piper rose and shook Will's hand.  

         "It's nice to meet you," she said.

         He nodded and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you too.  It's been a while since I've had the honor of being in the presence of such lovely ladies."  His voice was more cultured and smooth than Spike's.  'He must have been well educated,' Piper thought.  She stepped aside as Phoebe and Paige both stood and practically shoved each other out of the way to be the next to meet Will.

         Phoebe managed to reach him first and Leo introduced her.  "This is Piper's sister, Phoebe."  And as Phoebe stepped back Paige stepped forward.  "And her other sister, Paige."

         After shaking both their hands, he looked them each over.  "I knew things had changed greatly as I experienced the world through Spike's eyes, but it's not quite the same seeing it in person.  Ladies dress quite differently than when I was alive."

         Paige smiled.  He wasn't so bad.  He just needed time to adjust.  He wasn't Spike, but he wasn't William either.  It seemed almost that they had crossed the two and come out with this new person…angel.

         "There's not really any time to dwell on trivial things.  We can show him later.  Right now we have to stop an apocalypse.  It's already begun and we are needed," Leo said.  "Are you ready?" he asked Will.

         "I don't think I'll ever be ready for this," he responded, thinking of Spike's actions in Sunnydale.  "But I can do it.  No worries."

         "Then let's go," Leo said.  Will orbed out at the same time as Paige.  Leo was right behind them, with Piper and Phoebe each grasping one of his hands.


	4. Back on the Hellmouth

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 4:  Back on the Hellmouth

By 

Anessa Ramsey

         Buffy stared at her sister and was awed by the way she was dispatching the root demons.  They fought furiously and soon, Xander returned with the rope.  Buffy made sure that Dawn was out first, fighting off the demons as they tried to make sure no one got out.  She beheaded one of the demons coming at her and while they were regrouping she quickly scampered up the rope and onto the solid ground.  Xander pulled the rope up after her so that none of the root demons got a hold of it.  

         "Where's Willow?" he asked, anxiously.

         "Anya teleported in.  She's gone to Kingman's Bluff to raise a satanic temple.  She's going to destroy the world!" Buffy yelled as she took off running for the bluff.  Xander and Dawn hustled to keep up, determined to help her stop Willow.  Buffy was the first to spot her as they crested the hill to the top of the bluff.  The temple was already starting to rise from the ground.

         "Willow!" she screamed, hoping that the girl who was her best was still in there somewhere.

         Before Willow could say a word Buffy saw a great blue shimmer about three feet behind her friend.  One second nothing was there the next she was staring at three young women, a guy, and…Spike?  But not Spike.  Gone was the bleached hair and black clothing.  And were those glasses?  Xander and Dawn had skidded to a halt beside her, both of them having witnessed the appearance of the strangers.  

         Willow spun on them, furious as the interruption, but when she sent a blast of energy flying their direction one of the women threw her hands up and said, "Freeze".  The energy stopped in mid air and the guy who was Spike but not Spike stepped forward.  "I can't let you do this Willow.  It's time to go."

         She started to scream and they could see the magic crackling between her fingers but she never got the chance to use it.  Will touched her and she calmed immediately.  That's when they saw the golden light emanating from his hand.  "Buffy?" Xander said, trying to motivate her into moving…into doing something to stop whatever it was the Spike look-alike was going to do to Willow.

         Will turned to the group behind him.  "Easier than we thought it'd be.  You can go back to the manor.  I'll meet you there later."  Leo orbed Piper and Paige orbed Phoebe off of the cliff top and with a small smile in Dawn's direction, Will grasped Willow's hand and orbed off the cliff as well, leaving three very stunned bystanders wondering what just happened.

         Willow stared at her surroundings.  She was nowhere that she recognized.  It was a bright room with white walls and floors.  For a moment she thought she was in an asylum, but then the background changed into the Magic Box.  Not the destroyed wreck that she'd left behind, but a clean, intact version.  "Where am I?" she yelled, wondering what was going on.  Her hair was changing back to its normal color and the veins were disappearing from her face.

         "You are everywhere…and nowhere," a somewhat familiar British voice said.  Will walked out into the room and Willow gasped, recognizing Spike.  "I'm not him, you know.  I am Will.  I was William."  He paused in front of her.  "I was Spike but he no longer exists.  He gave his life so I could ascend."

Willow ignored him and raised her hand her anger still coursing through her.  "It's a waste of time to try that you know, your magic does not work here."

         She tried to throw energy at him but nothing happened.  "What did you do to me?"

         "We stopped you from ending the world and damning yourself to Hell."

         "I wanted to end the world.  I could feel all the pain.  Everyone was in pain.  I just wanted it to end."

         "Is that what Tara would have wanted of you.  She trusted you, thinking that you were doing better.  Don't dishonor her memory any more than you have."

         "What would you know about it?'

         "Quite a bit.  She misses you already."  His voice dropped to a whisper but it stopped Willow in her tracks.

         "You've seen her?"

         "No, but I've heard her.  She is quite well.  She is at peace and she wants you to know that it didn't hurt.  She didn't suffer."

         Willow dropped to her knees and tears began to form, sliding down her cheeks like tiny rivers.

         "You have a chance here Willow.  You have the opportunity to take matters into your own hands…to try and make amends, but you will have to stay here for some time to do it."

         She looked up at him, tears sparkling in her eyes.  "How did you do it?"

         "With the death of Spike and a ritual performed by the Charmed Ones."

         "Oh."  She frowned staring down at her hands.  Hands that had harmed Giles and tried to kill Dawn, Buffy, Xander…even Anya.  How would they ever forgive her?  Did they even know where she was?

         "We didn't exactly give them an itinerary, Willow.  They have no idea where you are, though they're desperately trying to find out.  But this realm doesn't exist to them.  The only one who could possibly know of its existence is Anyanka, but she cannot travel here."

         "What happens now?"

         "Now?"  He smiled.  "It's time to heal."

         Buffy threw down the book on the floor.  Empty.  They were all empty and of no use.  There was nothing on what Spike was now or where he might have taken Willow.  Anya looked up.  "What did it look like when he appeared?  Like little blue glowing balls of light?"

         "Yeah.  And then they were solid.  I've never seen anything like it."  Buffy said.

         Giles looked down.  He had a very bad feeling about what they witnessed on the bluff.  If what he was thinking was correct, then Spike was now an angel…a Whitelighter.  How it could have possibly occurred he wasn't sure.  He winced, his thoughts being drawn to the present as Buffy wrapped his ribcage in white gauze, pulling tight.  A few bruises, two cracked ribs and a very large headache and he was of the opinion that he made out pretty well.  "Tell me about the others with him.  You said there were five of them altogether."

         "Yeah, two brunette girls, a redhead girl and a blond guy.  The redhead came on her own and the two other girls were holding onto the guy, like they didn't have the same ability that he did.  But one of them could freeze things.  She literally froze one of Willow's energy attacks in midair."

         "And you say the redhead came on her own?"

         "Yes."

         "What about the third girl?"

         "She stood back and watched.  So did the guy."  Xander snapped.  "They just stood there and watched Spike take Willow god knows where!  We just stood there too.  We didn't do a damn thing to try and stop him."

         "Xander, if what I'm thinking is correct then there was not a thing you could have done."  Giles paused.  "If one of you would be so kind as to get the key from under the cash register, there is a safe in the training room behind the weapons on the left wall.  Inside are my most rare, important books."  He sighed.  This was going to be a long night.  "If I'm remembering correctly, one of the books discusses a group of young women, three young women, sisters, witches known as the Charmed Ones.  Supposedly they are the most powerful witches ever.  Together there is nothing they can't defeat.  And the men you saw with them are without a doubt Whitelighters.  Whitelighters are guides for those fighting the good fight, in many different forms.  Most people have no interaction with their Whitelighter.  They're angels.  Some though, need their Whitelighter as a link to the Elders or Powers, whichever you prefer to call them."

         "So Spike's an angel?" Dawn asked, disbelieving.  "Ask me why I think that's crazy.  He's a vampire."

         "Not to mention rapist," Xander said.

         Giles glanced at Buffy who looked away at Xander's words.  He had a pretty good feeling there was more to it than Spike attacking Buffy and he was fairly certain that it was his slayer's fault.  Anya arrived with his books before he could say anything.  Skimming through them carefully he finally came across what he needed in the third book.  "Here they are.  The Charmed Ones.  Three sisters, each with a great power, who will be the most powerful witches ever and fight the demons that inhabit the earth.  One shall be gifted with the ability to move objects with her mind, the next with the ability to stop time, and the third with the gift of premonitions."

         "Okay, that tells us what they are…not where to find them."

         "What about Whitelighters?"

         "It says that Whitelighters are angels, beings with the ability to orb and heal wounds that have been magically or demonically inflicted.  They answer directly to the Council of Elders.  Apparently there is more to their jobs than just healing.  They are mystic guides and they protect future Whitelighters.  And in this case, stop the end of the world."

         "Giles, how do we find Willow?  That's all that we need to know right at the moment."

         "I'm not sure you do Buffy.  There's every possibility that they're no longer even on this plane of existence."

         Buffy rose and started pacing.  "I will not accept that.  Spike appeared out of the middle of nowhere and took off with Willow.  I don't give a damn that she was planning on ending the world, having her here with us is ten times better than leaving her in his hands.  We need to find them."

         Anya was pacing back and forth nervously behind the counter.  After seeing Willow's capability for destruction she wasn't sure she wanted to share the information that she had.  She would have stayed quiet if Xander hadn't noticed her incessant trek back and forth and the frown marring her pretty face.

         "An…" he said softly.  "What do you know?"

         She looked up to see their eyes all fixed on her.  "Nothing.  I don't know anything."

         "Anya, whatever you know you need to tell us.  Spike took Willow."

         "And that's a bad thing.  She was going to end the world.  Look what she did to my shop…to you…to Giles.  She nearly killed him!  She tried to kill Dawn!"

         "She's our friend Anya.  We don't abandon our friends," Buffy said, trying to coerce her into talking.

         "Oh, but we do.  After all just look at your actions the past few months.  You abandoned all of us in favor of screwing Spike.  You knew he loved you but apparently that didn't matter to you, just as long as he got you off.  No wonder the guy lost it.  Then there's the fact that you yourself tried to kill us all."

         "Anya, that evil thing tried to rape her.  She didn't do anything wrong."

         "I'd call beating Spike until he couldn't move, telling him he's nothing but an evil, soulless thing with nothing good or clean in him, and leaving him lying in an alley not caring if he didn't get to shelter by sunrise qualifies as doing something wrong.  All he tried to do was keep her from turning herself in for Katrina's murder.  He tried to help her and she bloodied him up worse than Glory.  And she was back at his crypt the next night, looking for sex, with no apology or discussion about what she did to him."

         "Is that true?" Giles asked.

         Buffy nodded, hating the look on her friends faces.  This was not the time to be doing this, no matter how much she deserved it.

         "Buffy," Giles whispered, deeply shamed by her actions.

         Dawn looked at her sister as if seeing her for the first time.  "How could you?  He was trying to help you?  What else did you do to him?"

         "Dawn," she began, wanting to save this conversation for another time.

         "No!  We're dealing with this now.  I'm not going to let you put it off or tell me that I'm not old enough to understand.  What did you do to him?"

         Giles stood slowly with Xander's help.  "Now is not the time to get into this.  We need to find Willow.  The rest can wait until later." 

         "So where do we start?" Xander asked, ignoring the feeling in his gut that maybe things weren't as black and white as they appeared.  He looked at Buffy who was doing her best to calm Dawn and at Anya who was sweeping up some of the broken glass by one of the cases.  "When did things get so screwed up?" he muttered quietly, thinking no one would hear him.

         Dawn did though, and she glanced up.  "When everyone stopped talking."  Silence filled the room.  She summed it up quite nicely.


	5. Searching

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 5:  Searching

By 

Anessa Ramsey

            Willow stared at the man in front of her.  For three weeks she'd been stuck in this place between worlds, learning to control her magic, to harness it and not let it take control of her.  She was still grieving and a lot of the time it was hard to concentrate on magic when thoughts of Tara filled her mind, but she was getting there, slowly but surely.  Spike, or Will as he was now called, made regular appearances to check up on her, but a lot of the time he was away.  Apparently being a Whitelighter entailed a lot of traveling.  She got the impression though, that when he wasn't traveling he was spending a lot of time with the Charmed Ones.  Every time they were mentioned he seemed to flush lightly.  It was an odd sight to see Spike so affected.  "Will.  His name is Will," she corrected silently.  Sighing she returned to the meditation that was her only sanctuary from the thoughts in her head.

            Buffy stared at the map, hoping that this time Anya might be able to get a fix on where Spike was located.  They'd had no luck with anyone regarding three witches called the Charmed Ones.  Even Willie didn't know much about them, only that one of them was killed by Shax, an assassin for a being called The Source.  Giles found that information intriguing, considering that three women had accompanied Spike on his retrieval of Willow.  

            Tired and upset at being out of the loop and worried about Willow, Buffy was on the edge of her nerves.  Dawn and Xander were both slow to do anything that could set her off.  What made it worse was that she missed him.  She missed Spike.  As much as she always told him otherwise, his departure had left a void in her life that she never expected.  Dawn obviously felt it too, spending time in his crypt with Clem, as if waiting for him to return.  Those two minutes that he was there on the cliff was no indication that he had any intention of returning for good.  She didn't even have any idea of what happened to him and there was no way to find out.  She nearly gave up all hope, then two days later Anya appeared with the information that they needed.

            "I just thought I'd let you know.  I got in touch with a couple of my contacts and found out where the Charmed Ones are.  You can be there within five hours."

            "Where are they?" Xander asked, relieved that they might actually find out where Willow was.

            "San Francisco.  I found out who they are too, which gave me the ability to locate their exact address.  You're looking for Piper, Phoebe, and Paige Halliwell.  They're at this address," she said, handing Buffy a piece of paper with the number and street name scratched across it in black ink.  

            Buffy stared at the paper for a moment and then looked up at Anya.  "Thank you," she said, knowing that she had never really given the vengeance demon credit for anything before.

            She grabbed Dawn by the hand and pulled her toward the door.  "We're going to pack.  Everyone be back here in an hour ready to head out.  We're going to San Francisco."

            Anya stopped her for a moment.  "I'm just going to teleport there.  I don't feel like spending five hours in a car.  I won't go near the house without any of you.  Besides, I have a stop to make along the way.  Toodles!"  She disappeared with a slight shimmer.

            Xander and Giles just looked at each other after the women had gone.  "Road trip.  Sounds like fun."

            "You do realize that we are going to be stuck in a car for five hours with two very stubborn women who seem to control our lives just as much as they control their own?  One of whom is intent on not only finding Willow, but her vampire lover."

            Xander blanched slightly.  "Oh."

            "My sentiments exactly."  

            Dawn watched as Buffy rummaged through her closet, muttering to herself about not having the right outfit for the trip.  "Buffy, it doesn't matter what you wear.  Spike would think you look good in rags.  He doesn't care what you wear."

            "Who said I was thinking of Spike.  I don't care what he thinks of me," she said vehemently.  "I was just thinking about all the possibilities to meet new men.  Yeah.  New men."

            "You can lie to Xander and Giles all you like, but I'm your sister.  I was made from you.  There's no hiding it from me.  You miss him and seeing him all different looking and angelic up on the cliff has weirded you out."

            Buffy paused in her search for a black tank top.  "Who's weirded?  I'm not weirded.  There is no weirdage here." 

            "Oh right, as if our lives are normal?  There's major oogly-booglies attacking us nearly every night.  You fight vampires every night and that's not weird?  You've dated…well not technically dated Spike…but you were involved with two vampires.  So just admit that you miss him and deal with it."

            "He tried to rape me, Dawn."

            "Yeah, he did and it was wrong.  But it isn't as if you didn't spend the entire time you've been back putting him through the wringer.  Sure, Xander believes that there's only one side to it: yours, and I was mad…at first.  I'm not trying to say that you deserved it, but I know Spike and he wouldn't have done anything to hurt you unless you did something really bad to him first."

            Buffy stared at her sister.  "When did you figure all that out?"

            "I've been thinking about it since Xander told me.  I know that it was only a day ago, but I've been too scared to do anything but think.  Willow tried to kill me Buffy.  She tried to kill Giles.  And she skinned Warren alive…" Buffy glared at her and she realized that she hadn't been there.  "I heard Giles and Xander talking about it," she said, convering quickly.

            "She didn't know what she was doing, Dawn."

            "Sure she did," Dawn snapped.  "It's just easier for you to believe that she didn't to keep all those boxes that you place people in from becoming messed up.  Spike was a good person.  He tried to help all of us only to get run down constantly.  Willow was a good person who tried to end the world and kill us all.  Where do you draw the line Buffy?  Who's good and who's evil in that equation?"

            "We'll talk about this another time," Buffy said, not wanting to think about it right then.  Just the same as always she pushed it to the back of her mind, saying that she'd deal with it later…only she never did.  She went back to throwing things into her bag and Dawn backed out of the room, her sister's feelings on Spike and Willow were clearly off limits.


	6. Found

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Found

By 

Anessa Ramsey        

The ride to San Francisco was fairly uneventful and as promised Anya was waiting outside the red manor house when they pulled up.  Dawn jumped from the car and wanted to run to the door but Buffy grabbed her wrist and stopped her.  

         "Dawn, wait just a minute."

         "I've only been here ten minutes," Anya said.  "No one has come in or gone out."

         "So what are we waiting for?" Dawn asked.

         "We don't know what to expect," Giles said, getting out of the car.

         "Oh, what are they going to do…kill us?  They're witches.  Supposedly good witches."

         "You could say that about Willow too," Anya muttered.  "That didn't stop her from nearly ending the world."

         Xander glared at her but Buffy just put a calming hand on his arm.  "Let's not do this now.  We're going to go up there, knock on the door and find out what the hell is going on."  She led them up the step and with a hesitant hand, rapped on the door three times.  Inside she could hear a girl yell, "If it's a demon tell them to go away, we're busy right now."

         "As if that would work," Phoebe said sarcastically as she opened the door.  She looked up and was surprised to see a group of people standing on her front porch.  There were two men, one who looked to be in his forties, wearing glasses and a dress shirt.  The other wore a pair of chinos and a wildly printed Hawaiian shirt.  His hair was a mess.  It was the women who stood out though.  The youngest girl looked no older than sixteen and had long brown hair and eyes so big that it was like you could fall into them.  The woman next to her had short wavy, reddish brown hair and was wearing a pink dress that molded to her frame.  Finally there was the blond at the front of the group, completely striking in her own way.  She seemed completely made of gold, with her honey blond hair and her tan skin.  She was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of black leather pants.  Her hair hung in soft waves around her face.  "Can I help you?" Phoebe asked, wondering who this motley group of people was.

         "Yeah.  We're looking for the Halliwells."  
         "Oh," Phoebe said softly.  "Who are you?"

         "My name's Buffy."

         Phoebe stepped back, recognizing the name from the conversations she had with Will.  "Come on in."  She walked back into the entry way and yelled, "Leo, Piper, Paige, you might want to come here."  Paige came out from the kitchen and Piper and Leo came down from upstairs.  Piper was brushing her hair back into place.  It was obvious she'd been in the middle of something.

         "This is Buffy," she said as her siblings walked into the room.

         Paige seemed to freeze and the whole gang noticed.  Without a word she turned away and walked out of the room.  Xander looked at Giles questioningly but he just shrugged slightly.

         "What can we do for you?" Piper asked, leading them all into the living room to sit down.

         "We want Willow back.  We know you took her," Xander said, not wanting to beat around the bush.

         Leo sighed.  "As much as we'd like to help you, we don't have her.  She was only with us for a moment."

         "Then where is she?"

         Piper looked at Leo and shook her head no.  They weren't going to say anymore until Will returned and verified that these people were who they said.  "Get Paige," she said.  Leo went to the kitchen and dragged Paige back out to the living room.  

         "What?" she snapped glaring at the group.

         "You need to be here.  This is as much you're thing as it is ours."

         "Whatever."

         "Will!" Piper yelled looking up at the ceiling.  It only took a moment and the Sunnydale crowd backed up slightly as 'Will' orbed into the room.  Buffy just sort of stared in amazement, much like the rest of them.

         "Well if it isn't the rapist," Xander snapped.  He expected some sort of comeback but Spike just looked at him through round wire rim glasses.

         "Spike?" Dawn asked quietly, taking a step forward.

         Will was quick to correct her.  "Spike doesn't exist any longer."

         That seemed to snap Buffy out of her trance.  "What are you talking about?  You are Spike." Buffy stated.

         "No.  I'm not.  I'm William.  Will.  Spike no longer exists.  He gave his life so that I could ascend.  He is truly dead."

         Giles looked at the man in front of him, who looked like Spike but was no more Spike than he was Ripper.  "You're his soul."  It wasn't a question.

         "Yes."

         "How?"

         "I was always with him.  I have been with him since the night Drusilla made him.  I watched his entire existence, confined to my body but unable to influence him…until recently."

         "How recently?" Giles asked, wondering if the answer would be what he thought.  If it was then everything they thought they knew about vampires could be called into question.  As could the way they treated Spike.

         "Since he started working with her," he said, indicating Buffy.

         "Yeah, right!" Xander snapped, certain that the person…being…that looked like Spike was lying.

         "It does not matter if you choose to believe me.  I know the truth.  And the truth is that my ability to influence Spike enabled him with the ability to care and eventually love."

         Paige looked at the interaction between Will and the group and was surprised by the jealously that began boiling in her stomach.  The past three weeks with Will were the most fun she'd ever had with a guy.  They clicked in a way she'd never clicked with anyone before.  And now the one person Spike loved more than anyone was here…and Will retained all those memories.  Had he retained the feelings as well?  "This is all great to know," she snapped, "but what do you want?"

         "Willow."

         Will spoke up.  "She's not ours to turn over.  She is with the Elders.  She needs to learn to control her power.  She needs to get back to basics and learn that magic isn't for destruction or self-gain.  It is for healing and helping.  And she will stay with them until they decide that she is fit to leave."  His tone of voice let them know that it was not a topic that was up for discussion.


	7. Endings

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 7:  Endings 

By

Anessa Ramsey

         Willow was on a different plane of existence.  The thought was still hard to wrap her mind around...to accept, even after thinking about it all night.  Just as hard to accept as the fact that Spike was truly gone.  She'd listened to Will talk with the gang and his new friends and nothing remained of the vampire that had been her confidante and lover.  She was surprised by the fact that she missed him already.  

         What he did was wrong, everyone knew that, but she also knew what they didn't.  Her role in it all.  She wasn't going to let herself think that she deserved it, no one deserves rape, but she had to take responsibility for her own actions.  And to do that she had to talk to the one person she should have talked to all along.  He may not be Spike but she knew that he had all the memories.  It was what he deserved.

         Descending the staircase, she walked quietly through the Halliwell living room, trying not to disturb any of the people who were talking animatedly in the living room.  Xander looked up as she passed by and he caught her eye.  She stopped momentarily and she could see in his eyes that he knew what she had to do.  Instead of trying to stop her, he just nodded his head, and she smiled before continuing to the kitchen.

         She paused in the doorway and was shocked to see Paige and Will kissing.  It was soft, a slow, tender kiss, the kind of kiss that she had always refused him.  She turned her eyes away for a moment, surprised by the flare of pain that shot through her heart.  She tried to tell herself that it was none of her business who he kissed, but she knew that she was lying to herself.  Even though she didn't love him, even though he wasn't Spike, her mind screamed that he was hers.  She knew that in time it would fade, but some part of her would always remember him, always want him.

         Buffy watched them a moment longer before clearing her throat.  "I don't mean to interrupt, but I need to talk to…Will."

         Paige stiffened, and Buffy noticed the glare that the young woman sent her direction.  Obviously she knew.  "It's okay," Will said to Paige, running a hand over her hair.  "I'll just be a minute."  Paige glared at Buffy again then walked past her, not saying a word.

         Will turned on her and suddenly she was very unsure of herself.  This was Spike's soul.  He knew everything she'd done to his body.  Knew every harsh word and beating she'd inflicted on him.  How in the world was she supposed to say anything to make that better.  "It usually helps if you speak, Buffy."

         She nodded.  "I'm not sure where to start."

         "There's really nothing to say.  Your apology is lost on me.  Just as mine would be on you.  I'm not Spike.  It's is not my place to forgive you or for you to forgive me.  What occurred is just the way it is.  And we must live with that."

         She didn't know how to respond.  He'd taken everything she'd been thinking and told her that there was no point.  So she asked him something she'd wanted to know since he'd arrived.  "How did he do it?"

         "With very little pain and a heart full of love."

         She glanced away, trying to ignore the truth in his eyes.  His eyes.  She looked into them and sometimes they looked like Spike's, but then the look faded and she was gazing into the eyes of a stranger.  Had she ever really known Spike?  She invited him into her body more times than she could count, but had she ever known anything about him.  Judging by the way Will was, she knew the answer was no.  "He did it willingly?"

         "He was seeking out his soul, but the Elders had different plans for him.  He didn't need a soul.  He had one all along.  And yes, he made the decision willingly."

         He tried to get his soul restored so that he wouldn't be an evil, soulless thing.  The irony of it was not lost on her.  "Did he say why?"

         "No."

         "Oh."  No last words for her or Dawn.  No 'tell her I love her' or 'so long, nibblet'.  Nothing but a pile of ashes to show that he'd ever been on this earth.

         "He understood what he was doing, you know.  He did it because he loved you.  Because he loved Dawn.  He did it for the greater good."

         For the greater good.  How much of what she'd been and done the past year had been for the greater good?  Not much.  

         "He wouldn't want you to miss him.  He wouldn't want you to mourn or question yourself or your actions.  He understood.  Probably better than you might think.  I should know.  I remember all he felt."

         "Do you think he's in hell?"

         "I know he is."

         Of course he was.  He'd been a demon.  It still didn't sit any better with her because of it.  "I'm going to miss him."

         "I know."

         "He was the only one I could talk to for so long…I just wish I would have let him talk to me.  That's all he really wanted you know."  Will nodded.  "He wanted to talk…to understand why I was the way I was to him.  I took all my anger out on him, because I couldn't tell them."

         "He knew."

         She nodded and tried to hold back the tears that were finally coming.  She grabbed a paper towel from by the sink and dabbed at her eyes.  She needed to change the subject.  "I don't suppose that there's any chance that we could even see Willow, just to make sure she's okay."

         He smiled, a lopsided, shy smile, and she was suddenly aware of how different it was from Spike's smirk.  "I'll see if the Elders will allow it.  They may not agree."

         She smiled and quietly walked toward the door.  Looking back one last time, she knew that she wouldn't be seeing him after they left the next day.  "He saved me you know.  Every night he saved me."  With one last glance she walked out of the kitchen and out of his life.


	8. Starting Over Sunnydale

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers.

Title:  All That's Good

Part 8:  Starting Over  (Sunnydale)

By 

Anessa Ramsey

         It'd been four months since she saw him last.  She wanted to say that she never thought about him, never wondered what he was doing, if he was happy with Paige, if he enjoyed being a Whitelighter, but she couldn't.  She knew that Dawn still kept in contact with him.  He wasn't Spike, but he loved her like Spike had.  

         It had also been four months since she'd seen Willow.  Will managed to convince the Elders to bind her magic so she could visit her friends and tell them that she was okay.  It had been hard for everyone.  Xander had cried and so had Willow.  She apologized to everyone, especially Giles, who'd still been sporting bruises and cuts from the damage that she'd done to him.

         She got frequent calls from Piper Halliwell, giving her updates on how Willow was progressing.  The Elders were pleased with her progress and were of the opinion that she may be able to return soon.  It was going to be difficult but they needed her here.

         The only person she had trouble talking to anymore was Dawn.  Everyone knew the whole story.  Every last disturbing detail.  It was the only way she thought she could start over.  She needed them to know that it wasn't all Spike's fault.  Dawn still had trouble looking her in the eye.  Spike had been like an older brother to her.

         There were times when she'd be on patrol and walk by his crypt.  Since he'd been gone, several different vamps had tried to take it over, but she always killed them.  Their presence was offensive to her.  It was his crypt.  It would always be his crypt and she wasn't going to let anyone else take over.  

         Giles tried to tell her to let it go, that he wasn't coming back but she knew that.  She did.  She just felt like she owed him something, owed it to him to make sure that his existence wasn't completely erased.  

         Angel hadn't understood either.  When he'd shown up on her doorstep after her call to LA, he hadn't wanted to believe that she and Spike had been lovers.  His visit was short and she knew that it had changed things irrevocably between them.  They were two different people and no longer had a place in each others' lives.  

          She was seeing someone new.  His name was Greg and he worked with Xander.  He knew what she was and that she had just gotten out of a relationship, if it could even be called that.  He was nice, understanding…human.  There were times when he would hold her after they had sex and she would wish for the feeling of cool, pale arms encircling her.  Spike had never made her feel suffocated.  

         There were times when she wished things could have been different.  She wished she could have loved him the way he'd wanted her to when he was here, or been nicer to him instead of always beating him down, but she knew she couldn't change the past.  She was starting over.  She had a new lease on life and it was time that she took it.  

         Kneeling down in front of the crypt she laid the pure white roses in front of the door.  "I'm pretty sure that you can't hear me, but I need to say this.  I'm sorry Spike.  I'd like to say that I didn't know what I was doing, but that would be a lie and I'm through lying to you.  It's strange not having you here.  I miss the fights, the banter.  You were a challenge.  The only worthy one.  Even Xander misses being able to torment you."  She paused, wiping at the moisture that was building in her eyes.  "Dawn misses you.  She doesn't say it and she tries to pretend that Will is you, but we both know that he's just a poor substitute.  It's odd talking to you now that you're gone when I wouldn't when you were here.  But I guess that's the story of my life.  I'm always one step behind…with you, with Riley.  I'm not going to make that mistake with Greg.  He's nice and he treats me well.  I'm going to make it work, even though sometimes, I pretend he's you."  She stood and stared at the iron door that she had shoved open more times than she could remember.  "I'm starting over Spike.  It's time for the trombones and parade.  I finally know what I want.  A normal life.  And that means it's time for me to say goodbye.  I can't give myself to him when I'm still hanging on to you.  So good-bye Spike.  It's been a wild ride."  She turned to go then paused, looking back.  It was time to tell him.  "I love you."


End file.
